BREAKING NEWS: 16 MONTHS OF RESEARCH REVEAL I WILL NEVER KNOW IF MY DOG IS FEELING SAD. SHE IS CERTAINLY FEELING SOMETHING, INASMUCH AS SHE CAN FEEL THE GIVEN DOGGISH EXPERIENCE OF FEELING. I DON’T THINK SHE’D CALL IT SADNESS. BUT AGAIN, I CAN’T KNOW. ALL I CAN DO IS SURRENDER TO THE EVENT HORIZON. TO MY LIMITED, LIMITLESS ATTENTION. WELCOME TO LOVE & TECHNOFEUDALISM. THAT'S RIGHT FOLKS. IT'S TIME TO SHIRK THE CARCASS OF CAPITAL ISM BY CUDDLING FOR HOURS AT A TIME! BECOME CONSUMED BY YOUR EFFORTS TO BE THE WORLD'S BEST COMPANION! REALLY COMMIT TO IT. DON'T BE AFRAID TO LOSE YOURSELF. REVOLUTION REQUIRES THE LOSS. //// NEXT UP: A DEAD WHITE MAN SAYS "ISMS" ARE "MISUNDERSTANDINGS" & "THE DEATH OF HISTORY." DOES THAT MEAN WE ALL MADE IT INTO THE NEOPANTHEON? DO WE ALL GET EQUAL AIRTIME OR IS THERE SOME KIND OF INTERNAL HIERARCHY HERE IN THE CLOUD? CAN DOGS BE GODS TOO? //// LATER: MASS MEDIA & EUHEMERISM CONSOLIDATE POWER, POSE ALL-TIME GREATEST THREAT TO HUMAN LEGACY... PLUS, A CONSPICUOUS HOLE HAS BEEN DUG IN THE ARCHIVE. ACCORDING TO MY DOG, “SOMETHING HAS TO FILL THE VOID.”